Page 1 of The Preface from "Traumatic Memoirs - Gangsta: To Be or Not To Be (Book 1)

America, I used to be your worst nightmare; I was one of those ruthless, heartless, notorious gang leaders. We were a terrible group, forcing people to live in fear by taking lives for profit, for retaliation, and sometimes just for amusement. For me, the path out of destruction had an abusive beginning, and unfortunately, America, you helped pave the way. I am the nation’s laboratory experiment gone bad. My life is a reflection of the oppression, racism, and segregation that America has consistently heaped on minorities, seeking control and authority ever since the landing of the first colonialists and the beginning of the slave trade.

I believe America’s cruel sociological experiments on African-Americans and other minorities were partly to blame for my transformation into a rebellious threat to law and order. It is a fact that our government has many racist practices.

I was a no-conscience-having, assassinating black gangsta. I didn’t give a fuck about my enemies or any other race of people, not even my own black people. I didn’t care about any other hood or gang except my own. I didn’t feel any remorse for all the victims I shot, stabbed, mauled, maimed, beat into unconsciousness, and tortured.

I was dumb, deaf, and blind to the truth of my ancestors’ legacy, and I feel that I was a pawn in a game meant to oppress African-Americans. Powerful people in positions of authority realized that they couldn’t continue to keep blacks, Hispanics, and other minorities oppressed, so the next step was to pit minorities against one another through materialistic and financial means. Money, fancy cars, jewelry, and homes could be obtained from selling drugs and other illegal activities, and some, including myself, saw this as a quick and easy way to get a shot at the great American Dream—regardless of whom they hurt.

                I was weak in the face of the glorification of drug dealing and gangbanging around me and in due time, that would cause me to become imprisoned.

Despite your best efforts, America, I feel you lost control of me. Now, you want me locked away or killed in hopes that you never have to encounter me. You feel I am a threat—socially, physically, mentally, and emotionally! It’s because of our government, America, I and other African-Americans have suffered from virulent discrimination in employment, housing, and educational opportunities. It’s because of our government -- America, most African-Americans in this country are suffering from unfair treatment and overpopulation in poverty-stricken low-income areas.